If there’s anything I’ve learnt in the last week it’s that it’s time to admit and accept my failures and begin again.
So that’s it, I am going back to basics, my marathon is sadly taking the back seat for a little while (my own fault) but I feel like I have lifted such a weight off my shoulders, I am excited to get back running again and ultimately work towards achieving my real goal which is to lose weight long term and stop fluctuating.
I am so bored of it! I am bored of failing, procrastinating and questioning how to eat to lose weight or how to get back running and the thing I am most sick of is my fluctuating weight. I know what to do, I know what works for me and that’s what I am going to do. Focus on the now, which is getting back to where I was this time last year and worry about the next steps once I get there. For me my fresh start began in my bedroom, it’s always been a total mess and completely filled with my impulse purchases. To paint a picture of how bad it is, my mother once said “if you die, I’m going to get ‘Niamh Kelly, forever cleaning her room’ put on your gravestone”. A wise woman once told me the state of your bedroom or car reflects the state of your mind. In my case it’s totally true. So this weekend I tore my room apart and cleaned it.
My shelves were full of old womens health magazines, runners world, a wide range of books on diet, exercise, running, the list goes on. I dumped them all.
I’m starting fresh after all.
I know what to do right now, I don’t need a book to tell me. As I lay in bed and looked around at my much emptier room, I really did feel so much lighter, as though I could take on anything. It wasn’t about cleaning my room, starting fresh Monday and failing by Friday. It was a complete life overhaul, which will continue until I get to where I want to be. I am literally an all or nothing person, I really mean that, there is no room for even a slight mishap for me, no single square of chocolate, a glass of wine, anything, because for me what works is zero carbohydrates and high fat, which doesn’t have room for those things. If I allow a little slip up like that I am not fully focused or invested in it, therefore I will end up back eating junk.
I know as I follow this strict way of eating, people will keep telling me how it’s unhealthy, or not long term etc but trust me, when it comes to losing weight and focus, it’s what way of eating works best for you, and this is what works best for me, and maybe it won’t work long term but that will be my next step down the line.
We all know our own bodies and what suits us and doesn’t, so just do what you know works for you.
I have spent weeks struggling, and finally feel in a good place, I would love to hear other peoples stories and personal journeys whether it’s one of success, failure or a constant battle. Please feel free to send to me your story at firstname.lastname@example.org